“We’re all a little weird, and life’s a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.” – Dr. Seuss
It’s 2 in the morning and as I stare into oblivion; I start to think about how I started blogging by publishing two blogs in two days and that was it. No. That wasn’t it. I have so much to write about. And since I am sharing my thoughts, I decided to write about my fictitious boyfriend. Someone I’m in love with, for… well, a long time now. He is “The one”, you know. You probably know him. Everyone, single or committed, must have feelings for someone known, or fictitious in their heart. They may as well, have dreams where they spend time together, talk for hours or just lie down in silence under the open sky, travel together, watch the sunset together, eat together, cook together, cuddle, grow old together, et cetera et cetera. And for those who are all about “I love myself. I am fun. I don’t need anyone.” You don’t want to read this till the end. Believe me.
There are times when we feel vulnerable. No matter how strong we try to appear, we do. There’s no denying this. This happens when we’re in love. Yes. Love makes us vulnerable. Although, falling in love isn’t bad for everyone. For some, real lucky ones, it’s a beautiful feeling that has a beautiful end. While for some, it’s beautiful in the beginning but it hurts eventually and makes the person miserable. For them, love hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul hurt, a body hurt.
Sometimes, talking to a best friend isn’t enough. Sometimes, all you want is to be with that one person. Their presence means the world to you. Sometimes, you want them to feel the way you do about them. Sometimes, you want to talk to them about your feelings. Tell them how crazy you are for them and all the crazy stories. Like, how you stalked them, noticed their every move, their likes and dislikes. How seeing them with someone didn’t hurt you that bad but if they were hurt; you’d have a virtual fight with those who hurt them. Or, how you kept a diary of your dreamy journey with them. Sometimes, when you feel low and nobody understands you, you just want to hug them and talk; knowing that they wouldn’t get you either. Sometimes, you just want to leave everything and skip to the part where you marry them, wake up next to them, live happily with them and the dogs (Okay, this is what I want. :p ), go on vacation with them, forget that mobile phones exist. No, not that. You want to flaunt on social media how happening your life is with them. So, let’s not forget the mobile phones. Let them exist in the pocket inside the pocket of your bag and just live the moment.
I may be too young to define love, but I think we all know a little something about love. With the romantic movies we watch, the songs we listen to and the posts we read on instagram, where they don’t mention the name, still a name pops in our head while we read it. That is what it feels like when you’re in love. Plus, I listen to Ed Sheeran. He’s the reason why I love “love”. I mean, we all know that he can write the hell out of a song. And if you don’t know who he is by now, you probably live under a rock. I know, I get a little carried away when it comes to Ed Sheeran and music. But just listen to “Thinking out loud” if you haven’t and you’ll know.
Love isn’t him calming you down when you yell. It’s him yelling, just as loud, just as hard, right back at you, right in your face to keep you grounded. It’s him hugging you, understanding you and forgiving you after how unreasonable you were being because of the mood swings. It isn’t him bringing you roses everyday and gifts that make your relationship appear more presentable. It’s after a long fight, that drains the life and bones out of both of you, and yet him showing up at your door the next morning anyway. It’s him sleeping next to you and holding you from behind and you, not turning around just holding his hand because you’re sorry too. It isn’t him knowing exactly how to handle you. It’s him worrying about the what ifs because he was busy with work to even say “I love you.”; when he couldn’t stop thinking about you. It’s not him caressing your hair and telling you everything is going to be alright. It’s him standing there, admitting he’s just as scared as you are. It’s also her, refusing to be self-focused or demanding, but instead looking for ways to support and encourage, even when he is busy or tired. It’s when she wears his sweatshirt to bed. It’s when she wants to play his favourite video game. It’s when she makes him watch chick flicks. It’s both wanting the same things. It’s making each other laugh. It’s both staying at home; watching a movie instead of going to clubs. It’s both going on walks together. It’s both celebrating their love for each other by not knowing how to dance yet holding one another and dancing to a romantic music. It’s both staying faithful to their commitment to treat another with appreciation, respect, and grace, even in moments when the other person seems unwilling to reciprocate. This, what I believe, is love. 🙂
Yes, all of this is something I have in mind, that I want to be true. I want all of what I said with someone, someday. I want him to love me and understand me, as much as I do. God! I sound so vulnerable. But, the way he makes me feel just by the thought of him, feels good to me. And I want to fall hopelessly in love with him wherever, whenever. FOREVER.